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Petition to Have Months for the Other 6 Deadly Sins: Practitioners Demand Equal Limelight

Religion · August 31, 2024
Written by Themba "T-Rex" Tshabalala
Petition to Have Months for the Other 6 Deadly Sins: Practitioners Demand Equal Limelight

Practitioners of the other six deadly sins have banded together to demand their own dedicated months, arguing that Pride is hogging all the attention. The newly formed coalition, Sinful Solidarity, has launched a petition calling for equal representation for all sins, not just pride.

“We’re tired of Pride getting all the limelight,” said Envy spokesperson, Jealousy Maseko. “It’s high time the other sins got their fair share of recognition. After all, we contribute just as much to society’s colorful tapestry.”

The petition outlines a proposed calendar that would see each sin celebrated in its own month:

January: Gluttony Month - A time to indulge in post-holiday leftovers and New Year’s feasts. “Why should gluttony be limited to Thanksgiving and Christmas?” asked spokesperson, Gorging Gertie. “We deserve a whole month of unrestrained eating!”

February: Lust Month - Coinciding with Valentine’s Day, Lust Month would celebrate all things passionate and provocative. “Love is great, but let’s not forget about lust,” said Lust advocate, Randy Red. “It’s the spice of life!”

March: Greed Month - As tax season approaches, Greed Month would highlight the joys of accumulating wealth and possessions. “Why should only the rich get to enjoy greed?” questioned Greed representative, Goldie Grabber. “Let’s make it a universal celebration!”

April: Wrath Month - With the stress of tax deadlines, April is the perfect time to let out some steam. “Wrath is a natural response to life’s frustrations,” said Wrath warrior, Angry Andy. “We need a month to embrace our inner rage.”

May: Sloth Month - As spring blooms, Sloth Month encourages everyone to take it easy and enjoy some well-deserved laziness. “Why rush through life when you can take it slow?” pondered Sloth supporter, Lazy Larry. “Let’s celebrate doing nothing!”

June: Pride Month - Already established, Pride Month would remain unchanged, much to the relief of its advocates. “We’re happy to share the calendar,” said Pride promoter, Vain Victor. “But let’s not forget who started this movement.”

July: Envy Month - As summer vacations peak, Envy Month would focus on coveting others’ travels and possessions. “Why be content with what you have when you can envy others?” mused Envy enthusiast, Jealousy Green. “It’s the fuel for ambition!”

The petition has gained traction, with thousands of signatures from around the world. Critics, however, argue that celebrating the deadly sins might not be the best idea. “It’s one thing to acknowledge our flaws, but do we really need to celebrate them?” questioned moralist, Virtuous Vera.

Despite the controversy, Sinful Solidarity remains steadfast in their mission. “We’re not asking for much,” said spokesperson, Jealousy Green. “Just a little recognition for the other sins. After all, it’s only fair.”

As the debate continues, one thing is clear: the fight for equal representation among the deadly sins is far from over.

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