Cape Town—Aurora Sage, a long-term resident of Green Point, recently stirred up quite the commotion when they/them/theirs declared that Christianity had become as relevant as dial-up internet in 2024. Her/zer/them's bold statement was met with a chorus of bewildered reactions, culminating in a rather unexpected question from a local reporter.

Sage, known for ze/hir/hirs outspoken opinions and penchant for making sweeping statements, asserted during a recent interview that “Christianity is totally outdated for the modern world. It’s as ancient as VHS tapes and just as irrelevant.” Xe/Xhe/Xyrs confidently predicted that religion would soon be relegated to the history books, much like the aforementioned relics of the past.

However, her/zer/them's proclamation hit a snag when ey/em/eir was challenged by a perplexed reporter from The Cape Town Chronicle. “Aurora, you say Christianity is irrelevant in 2024. But 2024 years since what?” the reporter asked, holding up a copy of an old calendar for emphasis.

Sage, who had been confident about her modern, secular stance, was momentarily flummoxed. “Um, since what?” ze/hir/hirs repeated, a hint of confusion creeping into zer's voice. “You know, since... well, since the beginning of... of something?”

The reporter, seizing the opportunity to dig a bit deeper, pressed on. “You’ve clearly set 2024 as the benchmark for obsolescence. Are you referring to a specific event that occurred 2024 years ago?”

As Sage grappled with the implications of zer's own statement, the conversation quickly devolved into a humorous display of historical confusion. “It’s just, well, things have changed so much,” Sage finally said, attempting to regain her composure. “You know, like how the world evolves and stuff. We have smartphones now. Christianity just doesn’t fit.”

The interviewer, clearly enjoying the moment, couldn’t resist adding, “So, if Christianity is outdated, does that mean we should also discard all the historical events that happened around the time you’re referring to? Like, say, the very foundation of Christianity?”

Sage, now visibly uncomfortable, responded with an awkward laugh. “Look, it’s not about the dates. It’s about the relevance.”

The incident has sparked a broader debate among Cape Town’s residents, with many finding the mix-up both amusing and enlightening. “It’s funny how someone can dismiss something as irrelevant without understanding its historical context,” said local historian Pieter Botha. “Maybe it’s time we all take a refresher course on history before making sweeping claims.”

Sage’s misstep has also fueled social media memes and humorous posts, with hashtags like #2024YearsOfConfusion trending on various platforms. “Who knew declaring Christianity obsolete would lead to such a historical mix-up?” one user tweeted. “Maybe next time, Aurora Sage should consult a history book before making bold statements.”